10 + 5 ways Microsoft’s store will differ from the Apple Store
A tongue in cheek preview of Redmond’s foray onto main street and the many, many ways that the maker of Windows, Office and Internet Explorer will likely founder as it seeks to follow in Apple’s highly successful, well documented footsteps.
When Microsoft let it be known that the company is planning to open retail outlets, the news elicited laughs and derision. So far, the most derisive take on Redmond’s high street ambitions comes from PCWorld, which has published a Top 10 listing of ways the software giant’s outlets will differ from the Apple Store:
1) Instead of Apple’s sheer walls of glass, Microsoft’s stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes—reminiscent of Windows security.
2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise and Ultimate, [which] requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.
3) Instead of a “Genius Bar” (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar.
[...]
10) Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked.
OK, so I skipped a few, but you know where to find the rest. Besides, being the type who can’t help picking at his food, here is my take at embracing and extending Microsoft’s move into retail:
11) The Zune holds a place of the honor in the front window, right next to Clippy.
12) Store customers can take classes on movie making with Windows.
13) Shoppers can learn the real lyrics to Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.
14) Find out why, when buying music online, you should always look for the
“Plays for Sure”Zune Marketplace logo.15) Get a free Bill Gates money shot poster with every copy of Windows Vista not returned.
Had an epiphany about how Microsoft can / should / will embrace and extend retail? Shoot us a line or two below and don’t spare the sarcasm…
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February 16th, 2009
Another way of viewing No 2 – “When you pay the extra to enter the Ultimate door, you are promised specials and extras available to no-one else . . . but they never arrive”.
February 17th, 2009
To not be biased towards any of their PC hardware partners, they run all their software on Macs.